


a dreamer dreams she never dies

by shiroiori



Series: Hades Fics [1]
Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Canon Temporary Character Death, Friends to Lovers, Hades (Video Game 2018) Spoilers, Love Confessions, M/M, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:47:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27890029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiroiori/pseuds/shiroiori
Summary: Happily ever after doesn't mean that Zagreus's work is done--there are people depending on him. At least Hypnos seems brighter, now that he isn't saying a permanent goodbye, but even that is fragile, temporary. Nyx is still distant, Thanatos is still angry, and Hades continues to breathe down his neck. As much as Zagreus would love to give that his full attention, Achilles's freedom won't purchase itself. A sudden confession from Thanatos left him spinning, and rejecting him isn't as easy as Zagreus might like. The following visit with Eurydice calms his nerves, and leads him toward his next goal. Hypnos's fragile feelings about his family need addressing, and though Zagreus has been warned before not to meddle, he can't help himself this time. Stepping in for the people you care about is important.This is almost 6000 words of me being quietly salty that we don't get to romance Hypnos, and that Thanatos and Nyx are both cold to him. I hope you enjoy.
Relationships: Hypnos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Series: Hades Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2042221
Comments: 10
Kudos: 162





	a dreamer dreams she never dies

**Author's Note:**

> A heads-up before you start: This fic uses canon dialogue in places, and entirely goes off the rails of the rest of the conversation. Canon is a sandbox and I am using it to build what I please.
> 
> Also, I'm not sure if I should add a 'major character death' tag here, considering Zagreus dies in canon fairly regularly, but I want to offer a warning that he dies a few times in this, though not in a graphic manner.
> 
> This may or may not be continued based on feedback and how my writing decides to flow.

Zagreus hadn’t been able to talk to anyone, in all the bustle; it had been almost like there was a wall, a veil, around he and his mother and father and Cerberus, keeping everyone away unless they absolutely needed to be around. Days have passed now, spent stuck to his mother’s side, and therefore stuck by his father’s side as well. It hasn’t been as bad as he might’ve imagined, before he left the house; though he can see that things aren’t and won’t be perfect for a good long while, he’s amazed by how thoroughly his mother brings his father to his knees.

Love does that, though, he supposes.

The painting of the four of them had taken time, but now it hangs in his father’s room, a reminder of what Zagreus’s stubbornness had gifted all of them. He walks out of the room to see Achilles waiting, and after speaking to him for a moment, he walks out into the main hall. Nyx is speaking to Persephone, both of their’ faces bright as they catch up. Good, Zagreus thinks, and glances at the lounging chair he’d gotten for Hypnos.

As usual, he’s dreaming away there, no doubt tending to his precious oneiros. He wakes easily enough, though, and Zagreus chats with him before taking his leave to cause chaos throughout his father’s realm once more. After all, he’d gained a few more tasks on the way through, and he’s got the hopes of some very kind people resting on his back.

It isn’t as though he’d really set any particular time limit on talking about his feelings. He has forever--the both of them do, until someone opens their eyes and sees what a treasure Hypnos is. Zagreus is eternally confused about how every shade doesn’t fall for him immediately, seeing as most of them meet him as he wakes, golden eyes hooded with, well, sleep. It pierces his heart every time, seeing him blink awake.

That’s neither here nor there, though. Whether or not he’d meant to, he’s given himself a goal. His friends, suffering far longer than he’d lived, need his help. Until he finishes fixing their problems to his satisfaction, his feelings will simply need to wait. Sisyphus’s ages of rest, at least, are a relief; but there’s a bigger target in mind, and two sides to comfort.

...of course, things are never that simple. As tensions rise and rise and rise between Hypnos and Thanatos, a bombshell drops between Thanatos and Zagreus: “What exactly am I, to you, as of late?”

Zagreus has never been good at telling people no. He’ll admit that it isn’t as though he’s never humored the thought of he and Thanatos; they work together well, they were so close once... But that isn’t enough. Not when he’s so gone he’s been teased by Aphrodite herself over it. It wouldn’t be fair to turn Thanatos down by saying he was the wrong twin--but it would be just as cruel to say yes to him, knowing it wouldn’t last, knowing he’d still be mooning over Hypnos.

Still, he ducks out without committing one way or another. Thanatos disappears into a plume of ominous green smoke and Zagreus walks into the doorway by the balcony, chanting letters to himself as he glances between shelves and piles of scrolls.

Even with as busy as he’s been, as many times as he’s run through his father’s domain, he’s short two diamonds, he finds once he passes Achilles’s pact to the contractor. And, as well-acquainted as he’s become with Malphon, that means it’s time to swap over to a different weapon. He’s gone through with new conditions on his Pact too many times to be able to quickly and easily be able to grab a few diamonds. (That, and he isn’t willing to sacrifice the ambrosia he’s been saving for Hypnos, saving for a proper courtship.)

Working with a bow is annoying, after being raised with more personal weapons. He respects Artemis greatly, now, for her patience above all. Selecting Coronacht as his primary weapon just sounds foolish; he’d much rather go out with bare fists, but then he really would get an earful from Hypnos, wouldn’t he? Imagining his peals of laughter--You went out without even a single weapon? Wow, Zagreus, I knew you were hardheaded, but not that hardheaded!--makes the decision an easier one, and he allows the sound to linger in his mind.

It’s much easier to get the bounties when he’s using new weapons; being able to show his father failure against each weapon is enough of a power dampener to be considered part of the Pact, he supposes, because it isn’t long until he’s back in the Pool of Styx, a diamond in his pocket and a spring in his step. His expressions falls a bit when he sees that instead of napping peacefully, Hypnos is upright, bags under his eyes.

"Hey, uh, everything alright, there, Hypnos?" Zagreus doesn’t mean to speak so softly, so sweetly; he can’t help himself. Hypnos looks like he hasn’t slept in days, and while others would be worrying about the humans and their sleep deprivation, that’s the furthest thing from Zagreus’s mind right now.

"Oh, absolutely! Everything definitely is. It's just...” Though he starts well, almost as bright as he usually is, smile as calm and smug as ever, the expression fades, replaced with distant eyes and furrowed brows. He takes a breath meant to sturdy himself, Zagreus is sure, but all it seems to do is give him the momentum to droop when he breathes out once more.

Finally, he continues with, “It's Thanatos. He said some stuff, and... now I'm not so sure I'm doing the best job I can, you know?" His smile has been recovered, but Zagreus would almost rather see him crying than this. Hypnos’s lips tremble and his eyes are wet, and Zagreus wants to wrap him tightly in his stupid blanket cloak and scoop him into his arms.

"I'm sure he wasn't trying to hurt your feelings,” Zagreus replies, but that isn’t true, is it? Perhaps it would’ve been, when the three of them were still small, still children--when Hypnos and Thanatos were inseparable. Those days are long gone, though; Thanatos’s siblingly adoration has melted away to a tireless work ethic, and that would be wonderful if it didn’t mean he left Hypnos cold, isolated from his brother as well as their mother. “Wait, what am I saying, he's always been harsh with you, hasn't he?"

Though he hadn’t meant to say it aloud, he sees Hypnos nod in response. "Hey, what if he doesn't like me anymore? He's got other brothers!" The panic in Hypnos’s voice is all but tangible, shaking his frame as much as his voice. It’s true; Charon, of course--and Moros, Dolos, Momos, and Geras. They've got sisters too, in much higher numbers. Though the three of the siblings Zagreus knows personally have always been closer to one another than to their other siblings, the high number of alternatives has to be terrifying to Hypnos. He's so scared of abandonment that even their sisters can’t have slipped his mind as alternatives.

“But he only has one you,” Zagreus reassures, and can’t help the urge to reach out and curl his hand around the one Hypnos has holding his quill. “No matter what anyone does--no matter what Thanatos says or does--he only has one twin, and that’s you. Maybe he just needs some reminding of that.”

Seeing Hypnos’s eyes go wide, Zagreus forces himself to cool off a bit, right then and there. Too much. Too much intensity. “And it isn’t as though Charon would take his side in this, anyway. Aren’t you the one doing a job for my father on top of your actual godly role? Perhaps Thanatos aught to remember that.”

Hypnos’s face goes a bit gold at that, ichor pooling as a pleased flush to his cheeks. No one remembers that; no one thinks about the fact that his dozing isn’t slacking but work, just as much as his waking hours. How ironic, that he gives rest to everyone else, but there is no rest for Sleep.

Regardless, Zagreus squeezes his hand again and lets go, suddenly embarrassed at his own impulsive gesture. “Don’t let it get to you either way. I’ll see you soon, Hypnos.”

“Don’t die too fast,” Hypnos replies, and Zagreus’s shoulders lose a minute amount of their tension. If he’s feeling well enough to pick on him, Hypnos will be better than ever in no time.

* * *

The diamonds are paid. Five of them, all but dropped in the Lethe--but Zagreus would’ve found and earned a hundred, if that was what it took. Even with his heart hammering, he refuses to rush to Hypnos right away. He has to make sure it worked, and that Achilles is truly free--and he needs to give Thanatos a good piece of his mind, as well.

He’ll never understand how Thanatos makes the bells toll as he arrives, but that doesn’t matter. He’s back and his challenge is dealt, and the two of them make a pretty good team like this, destroying every wretch who makes the awful decision to answer his father’s call. It always amuses Zagreus that for all he blusters about Hypnos, Thanatos keeps his feet just as bare, yet another resemblance between the two of them he’ll never be able to wipe away.

It serves as a good reminder, that amusement, and his expression is serious as he walks up to Thanatos. The centaur heart is already there for the taking, but it isn’t what Zagreus reaches for.

“Wait,” Zagreus says as his fingers curl around Thanatos’s wrist, and he’s met with a sigh.

"About when we last spoke. I care about you, Thanatos. A lot. Though, you asked what you are to me... how am I supposed to even answer that??" It feels cruel, pushing Hypnos aside to answer instead--but he needs Than to know that he isn’t being rejected as a punishment. That fixing things with Hypnos won’t give him a chance. Giving him room to speak and clarify before Zagreus rejects him only feels fair.

"Ugh, I don't know. Sometimes I miss not feeling anything. Can't always trust what feelings say. I get to thinking, are we only friends, or... look, this is embarrassing." Thanatos is the one going gold now, even the tips of his ears burning a bright, vibrant yellow. If nothing else had, this seals it for Zagreus; he really doesn’t feel a thing for Thanatos. He feels no rush of affection, seeing his face go warm. He feels nothing at all, nothing but pity for the hurt he’s about to cause.

"To think discussing feelings would be even harder than annihilating Father's forces,” Zagreus muses. “But..." It would be easy, to accept his feelings. It’s what everyone would want him to do, Thanatos included. I've been asking myself the same thing, Than. If it's any reassurance, Zagreus would say, and it would buy him time to think. To come up with more of an explanation.

But Zagreus isn’t cruel. He won’t lead Thanatos on and toy with his feelings. He can’t, knowing he won’t feel the same anytime soon.

“Thanatos, I care a lot about you.When you’re actually around to be one, you’re a wonderful friend. Seeing you again has been a relief beyond just having less to do--I worried about you out there, Than. Anything can happen, after all.” A breath, and then, “But I don’t care about you in the way you want me to, I think. Those feelings aren’t romantic, and at least for the time being, I can’t see them turning that way.”

"Well," Thanatos says, and his shoulders are tight now, as he gingerly pulls his wrist from Zagreus’s hand. "Thank you for an honest response. Good running into you."

“Wait!” The air around them flares up in bright green, and Thanatos is gone. “Gods damn me,” Zagreus hisses, and turns to kick a ribcage as hard as he can into the magma of Asphodel. It isn’t enough, but it is enough to make him cool off a hair. The signs at the forks of his father’s domain show him that his cousins are waiting in the next rooms, and just to really blow off steam, he chooses the boat with Ares and Aphrodite’s emblems instead of the one with Hermes’s. War always puts up a good fight as far as numbers go, and Aphrodite will be kind, feeling this, he’s sure.

As usual, Ares’s doom does nothing to help the wretches, not that Zagreus is going to be telling him that anytime soon. Two boons stronger, he’s grateful to see the familiar stone symbol that the signs use for shades--though he very well could meet a new friend, Zagreus is fairly certain of who fate wants him to see.

As always, Eurydice’s home smells sweet and comforting, even among the stench and heat of Asphodel. Perhaps someday they’ll be able to levy Phlegethon and she can look over the peaceful meadows once again--but until that day comes, Zagreus is content to boat to her.

Their conversations are wonderful, with and without Orpheus. Today, he’s still back home doing his duty as court musician, and for once, Zagreus isn’t just okay with it, but grateful for it. He’s got questions, after all.

“Hey, Hades kid,” Eurydice greets as he walks through the door, not even turning to look at him as she drops spices into what seems to be a pomegranate mixture she’s reducing.

“Good afternoon, Eurydice. Or, whatever time it might be, you know what I mean.” Her responding laughter is a comfort, and Zagreus is grateful to know her for what must be the millionth time. Her joy brings him joy, and he’s pleased all over again that he was able to help her. Despite Thanatos’s prickling fury over him assisting without asking, everything had gone well.

“You know where the chairs are, if you’d like one,” Eurydice says, and Zagreus pulls one out before coming forward to grab one of the dishes she’s already offering up to him. "The porridge is still cooking, but I've got some ambrosia delight ready to go! If you want, I can start on some nectar, but... That might be a while."

Far from an impolite fool, Zagreus takes the ambrosia delight. He knows that Eurydice would be happy to feed him no matter what he chooses, but he’s not just here to pilfer some of her unworldly food.

“Eurydice,” he starts as he sits down, and hears her rest the spoon against the side of the pot.

“Yes, hun?”

“Last time... You said you were sure that someone waited for me the way you wait for Orpheus.” Even as he says them, Zagreus winces at his words. One way or another, it is true--perhaps not the way he wants it to be, but it is true.

“Mmhm?” Though she’s back to stirring Eurydice’s tone makes it clear she wants Zagreus to keep going. “You have to, right? I mean, everyone knows what you have to offer, kid. You’re kind to a fault, you’re selfless, you’re pretty. You give more than you have to, just because you can. Surely, even if you don’t know it, there’s got to be someone whose day is made just by seeing you the way seeing Orpheus makes me happy.”

Even when she isn’t singing, Eurydice’s voice is sweet to the ears, melodic in a way most people dream of. Perhaps it’s that she’s a dryad, but Zagreus thinks it’s because she’s wonderful, personally. As selfless as she says he is, he knows she is, after all.

“I can’t say there isn’t someone like that,” he admits, and pauses to take a bite of his pastry. Oh, that’s so good. It always is, sweet and creamy on the tongue thanks to the combination of the ambrosia in the pastry and the cream in whatever is on top.

“That’s a good thing, I hope.” Eurydice’s tone is light, but he can feel the steel in her words. “I know I can’t do much, but I can pass word along from Orpheus to someone who might be able to do something about it, if you can’t bring it up yourself.”

Isn’t that a funny mental image? Orpheus, standing up to Thanatos, or asking Achilles to do so. “No,” he assures her, “that won’t be necessary. I just... had to reject Thanatos. I don’t feel the same.”

She hums, and pulls the pot off the heat, leaving only a pan simmering quietly away. The oats go in, now, and he glances over at Eurydice as she stirs them in.

“ That’s that, then, isn’t it?” she asks, and looks over her shoulder. “If you said no, that’s all there is to say.”

“Except that I am, regrettably, in love with his brother,” Zagreus replies, and oh, it’s good to admit it aloud to someone. That causes Eurydice to pause, setting her spoon against the side of the pot to turn, leaning against the counter.

“Surely not the boatman,” she says, and if nothing else will, that draws a quiet laugh out of Zagreus.

“No, no.” He can’t stop himself from snickering, and isn’t that awful? It isn’t as though Charon would be a terrible partner. “No, he’s more like an older sibling to me--and one of my cousins is quite taken with him. It wouldn’t be right, to step on his toes, when he’s been trying to court him for so long.”

The relief in Eurydice’s expression is a curious thing. Perhaps she dreaded a conversation in which she had to listen to him gush over Charon’s work guise, which is fair enough. Not many see his true form, after all.

“It’s Hypnos. Each time I die, I walk out of the Pool of Styx and he greets me with a smile and a joke. It’s his job to watch over the list of deaths and keep the shades in line on their way to speak to Father, so he’s always right there.

“We grew up together. All three of us did--but Thanatos grew up and grew away and threw himself into his work. Hypnos and I stayed close, because we were always close together. Even when I was working in that stupid, stuffy parchment room... We’d take breaks together. Sitting there with him was the best part of my day.” His expression must be terribly soft, because Eurydice is smiling at him like he imagines she would at a child.

“Sounds pretty serious, if you’re that ga-ga over him. What’s the issue, then?” Her tone is bright, and she turns back around so she can put the still-cooking oatmeal back on the heat, thick with the liquid that she’d added the oats to. Zagreus finishes his first pastry and moves onto the next. “Do you know if he likes you, too? I’m going to assume he does, no matter what you say. Orphy told me half the staff is smitten with you.”

Well, that’s a thrill of embarrassment Zagreus hadn’t been expecting. Surely, that must be an exaggeration. Than is hardly half the staff, and it isn’t like Dusa has ever shown anything more than nervous attempts at friendship. Meg certainly isn’t part of that. He swallows the last of the ambrosia delight, and responds.

“I don’t know if he does, is the thing. He’s pretty vocal about his feelings--he asked Meg out easy, even if she turned him down. He didn’t even blink when she got mean about it, either, just said ‘yeah, okay’, and kept doing his job. I don’t even know if he could see I was in earshot.” And if he had... would anything have changed?

“Which just means he knows what it’s like to be rejected, and I promise you almost anything that he’ll do it gentle.” The oatmeal is done now, and set on the back burner to simmer before Eurydice comes over to rest her hands on Zagreus’s shoulders. She’s getting bolder as they get closer, and he’s comforted in how easy it is, being friends no matter if his friends were mortal or not. Eurydice’s hands are ice cold against the scalding heat of Asphodel’s flooded meadows, and she presses a chilly kiss to the top of his head.

“Come on, now. You’ve got wretches to get through and a boy waiting back home. I want you to tell me how it goes next time you come through, okay? And don’t worry. If he’s anywhere as wonderful as you make him sound or as sweet as the stories say, it won’t matter if he rejects you or not. He won’t hold it against you.” Coaxed out of his chair, Zagreus surprises Eurydice with a tight hug before he descends the stairs to the next boat.

“I will. Thank you, Eurydice.” Even if he hadn’t quite asked for the advice he wanted, really, he feels calmer, now.

* * *

Despite Patroclus’s gentle insistence that Myrmidons aren’t the touchy-feely type, the tender expression Achilles wore as he looked at him, half-believing he wasn’t real, will stick with Zagreus for a very long time. Risk it all. And it had worked out beautifully, for them, risking it all. Might have even worked out well, had they done so together, in life.

Thinking on this is part of why he gets gored, his too-red blood filling his lungs as Theseus crows victory. He scarcely hears Asterius’s apology for the gruesome death over his own death rattle, Exagryph disappearing as it falls from his grasp. Perhaps next time he’ll leave it at home, as problematic as its reloading proved to be.

Still, he shakes it off as he walks out of the pool. He’s a man on a mission. He hadn’t promised Eurydice, but he doesn’t look forward to the disappointment that will be on her face if she hasn’t heard the gossip from Orpheus.

It isn’t a long march. He finds his heart just where he left him, and smiles despite himself as Hypnos drags himself from sleep almost as though he waits for the sound of redhot callouses on the stone floor. “Ooh, Asterius got you again, huh? That’s too bad!” Hypnos chirps, and then Zagreus tugs him close, takes advantage of his floating to haul him up near his face simply by curling a hand in his blanket.

“Wh--H-hey, now, Zag, no need to--”

“I want to kiss you.”

“What?” The words are more squeak than anything. That isn’t quite how Zagreus had wanted to lead, but having Hypnos this close had been a miscalculation and all thought is gone, gone, gone.

“I want to kiss you, Hypnos. I want to be the only one who gets to kiss you. I want to court you and call you mine and kiss you every time I walk out of the Styx. May I?”

The shades are watching. Zagreus can hear them whispering behind them, but he can’t see them. He can’t see who else has front row seats to this horrible confession, either, but Zagreus is hardly a romantic. It isn’t as though he knows what he’s doing, after all.

“Oh.” Impossibly quiet, Hypnos responds. The hand Zagreus has curled in the blanket moves, feeling disconnected, and cups Hypnos’s cheek. He leans into the touch almost as though by instinct, his cheek chilly against Zagreus’s palm, and he smiles. There’s silence for a moment as Zagreus’s pulse skyrockets, and then, “In that case, yes. Yes, you may.”

On the tail of his words, Zagreus leans in and presses their mouths together. It doesn’t matter that his quill and clipboard keep Hypnos from being able to hold him; there will be time, later. There will be time for everything, later.

Zagreus pulls away, and Hypnos’s golden eyes are brighter than he’s ever seen. “You’re going to get me in trouble for not doing my job,” he tells Zagreus, honest to a fault.

“Yes, well--you seemed to be bored doing it anyway. Why don’t you take a break and start fresh?” That sends Hypnos to snickering, and a loud, irritated sigh startles the two of them apart, Hypnos finally fumbling with his equipment.

“Yes, why don’t the two of you take this idiocy somewhere beyond my line of vision,” Hades snaps from his desk, and it’s the closest thing to permission for Hypnos to leave his post that Zagreus has ever heard him give. Neither of them needs to be told twice.

As they pass in front of the desk, Zagreus sees his mother to the side of it, as she often is when she’s helping his father look over papers. She raises a brow at him and winks, and that’s what finally embarrasses him, his face flushing as he walks out of her sight and straight into Nyx’s. He’ll speak to her later--apologize for not seeking out her blessing beforehand--but for the time being, he’d die for time alone. (And oh, isn’t that funny?)

His heavy curtains fall and they have privacy from the House--a few quick steps are all it takes for Zagreus to ensure they’ve got privacy from the courtyard, too, and they’re alone. There’s a moment of panic about where to start before Hypnos snags Zagreus by the hand and pulls him to the blue twin to his lounging couch. He’d gotten it just to make Hypnos happy--had gotten both of them so he could use them when he pleased--but it felt like a more intimate action now.

“You know, I didn’t realize you were heaping all that nectar on me because you liked me,” Hypnos teases, and Zagreus takes his now familiar seat, nestled into the corner of the seat. That’s the only echo of their usual routine, though; Hypnos sits upright beside him and hesitates for only a moment before taking Zagreus’s hand.

“So... How long have you been hiding this from me, buddy?” he asks, and Zagreus moves closer specifically so he can shift to tangle their fingers with ease, their palms flush. “I’m glad, of course--and, I’ll answer the inevitable question I’m sure you’ve got too, just. Humor me.”

Zagreus shakes his head a little smiling down at the sight of their fingers tangled. “I wish I could pinpoint it, but I really don’t know when it started. But I knew before Father fired me. Before Dusa was hired. I might’ve felt this way before Meg and just... not known, at the time. It only ever got stronger, after that whole mess.”

It’s good to get it out honestly, even if he’s shy about how long he’s been pining after his closest friend. There’s no amusement in Hypnos’s expression though; just affection, and Zagreus’s heart skips despite how easily he’d gotten permission for a kiss.

“If it helps, I don’t think I could tell you when I started liking you, either,” Hypnos admits, and really, Zagreus could take every Olympian back to back right now, he’s so full of joy. This isn’t curiosity. This isn’t being happy to be wanted. Hypnos likes him. Has liked him, has liked him in the same creeping, growing way Zagreus has fallen for him.

“Yeah, that helps.” They’re just beaming back and forth now, and they only stop when Hypnos pulls his hand away so he can take his usual position, his silver curls stark against the red of Zagreus’s robe and pants. For the first time, Zagreus doesn’t hesitate before sinking his hand into the fluffy mess, his expression going soft as Hypnos closes his eyes and sighs.

“I used to pretend to sleep so you’d do this,” Hypnos admits, and snickers a little when it makes Zagreus freeze. “No, no, it’s okay! I loved it. I love it. I just thought you were embarrassed about being affectionate platonically, even if that... doesn’t exactly suit you. That, and I always fell asleep pretty fast after that. You’re good at making me relax when I’m restless.”

He doesn’t seem to be letting himself be soothed to sleep this time, though, because he opens his eyes so he can look up at Zagreus again. It doesn’t matter that the angle must be unflattering; Hypnos continues to look at him affectionately, and Zagreus is soaking it up like a sponge.

* * *

Despite any worries, this is the easiest experience Zagreus has ever had. Their time together doesn’t really change; Hypnos still teases him about what fells him, after Zagreus kisses him hello. They still take Hypnos’s breaks together when Zagreus is there for them. They act the same. The only real difference is that if Zagreus wants to pull Hypnos into his arms and kiss him, he can.

Nyx isn’t angry. Of course she isn’t; it had blindsided her, but that’s an irritation for another time. It isn’t Zagreus’s place to yell at everyone in Hypnos’s family for their treatment of him.

That said, he does still need to talk to Thanatos. He doesn’t want to spend his time gushing alone and forget that he’d meant to talk to him about that, too, before he confessed. (But who can blame him, welcomed home by springy, soft curls and drowsy eyes?)

...the last thing he wants is to hurt Thanatos further by having him walk into the lounge to find their hands clasped atop the table.

Zagreus throws himself into his escape attempts with a single-minded determination, now. If he’s lucky, Than will see him with one of the weapons he hasn’t used as often and will come in with that same condescension as usual.

He doesn’t. Another try; he doesn’t. Yet another; he doesn’t. It’s maddening! Is he such a child that he truly can’t handle a no from a friend? He’s certain he hasn’t heard through the grapevine; Zagreus had asked Nyx to let him speak to Thanatos before she spoke to him about his and Hypnos’s relationship, and he knows that no one would step on her toes about the subject.

In fact, Zagreus is almost ready to give up entirely when they finally bump into each other. It takes restraint not to hiss finally, but Zagreus manages, keeping an eye on the amount of wretches left so he can be certain he’s close to the exits when they’re all gone.

Thanatos is displeased that Zagreus has won, again, but he’s still standing there, stony-faced. He throws out a centaur heart as Zagreus comes closer, but Zagreus ignores it pointedly.

“Than, I need to talk to you.”

“No, I think you were quite clear enough last time,” is the response, and Zagreus shakes his head.

“That’s exactly why I need to talk to you. I’ve been trying to find you for ages, and this is something I want you to hear from me, not secondhand.”

That startles Thanatos, and he goes as far as to let his feet touch the ground, no longer hovering.

“Alright. You have my attention.” His tone is flat, but there’s a curiosity in his expression he can’t hide.

“The first is something I need to speak to Nyx about, too. You need to be kinder to Hypnos. He didn’t ask to be assigned a task that directly interferes with his work as sleep--you’re fortunate enough to be directly tied to Father’s realm, and yelling at Hypnos because he’s pulling double duty isn’t fair.”

Though he’d seen the way Thanatos’s eyes had rolled up to the ceiling at first, Zagreus watches as realization dawns. It is Hypnos’s very nature to sleep, to take care of the oneiros, to make sure people are sleeping well, to welcome them into his realm. He’s responsible for every living being in a way that so few people are--and, with his position, he’s responsible for all of the dead, too.

“I... hadn’t considered that,” Thanatos said slowly, and his brow furrows.

“I know,” Zagreus replies. “That’s why I wanted to point it out to you, and ask you to be more... considerate of his situation. It hurts him deeply, to know you’re so angry at him. It makes him feel unloved. It makes him feel like he’s nothing to you.”

Thanatos looks as though Zagreus has struck him. It almost makes Zagreus reconsider telling him today, but he has to. There’s no telling when his next chance will be.

“I’ve been trying to figure out how to talk to you about it for a while now. Last time, I wanted to be honest with you because I didn’t want me rejecting you to feel like a punishment--because it wasn’t. You’re incredibly important to me, and I know you don’t mean to hurt him like this. But you are, and it’s really destroying him inside. He only has one twin, and that’s you. He thinks you’re going to replace him, you know.”

“I really fucked up this time, didn’t I?” Thanatos asks, and Zagreus nods.

“If it helps, your mother has fucked up just as much. In trying to stop coddling Hypnos, she’s made him feel as though the only reason any of you ever put up with him is because he wasn’t old enough to abandon yet.” This is said with quiet bitterness that surprises both of them, and Zagreus clears his throat and looks away.

A moment passes, the Lethe whispering beside them, and Thanatos asks, “What else was there to say?”

It’s hard. Swallowing the knot in his throat, Zagreus speaks.

“I’m seeing him. Hypnos, I mean. I wanted you to hear from me, instead of hearing gossip or seeing him welcome me home. I don’t want to hurt you, and so I’ve been trying to find you specifically to tell you. I hadn’t intended on confessing until I’d spoken to you about hurting him, but that isn’t how things worked out, and I’m sorry.”

Thanatos shuts his expression off, abrupt and sharp. His mouth is flat, and Zagreus knows it isn’t from anger--a lifetime worth of knowing him means that it would be written all over him, no matter what he did to withhold that reaction.

“I appreciate that,” he says, expression like stone. “It wouldn’t have gone well, the other way. I’ll... ah. I’ll speak to Hypnos soon about the way I’ve treated him.”

And that’s it. That’s done. Zagreus feels heavier and lighter all at once. He hates hurting Thanatos--hates that for all they’ve done together, for the many years they’ve known each other, the hours and hours of conversations they’ve had, he can’t comfort him in this. The information will only ever hurt.

It must show in his expression, because Thanatos pauses, once his feet are off the ground again.

“I’ll see you soon, Zagreus,” he says, and then he’s gone in a flash of brilliant blue. The centaur heart proves useful, keeping him alive until he can just barely see that his mother’s lavender is flourishing.

**Author's Note:**

> Some notes:  
> \- The title is from Champagne Supernova by Oasis, which is a song I often listen to when I need to focus. (Wake up the dawn and ask her why / a dreamer dreams she never dies; / wipe that tear away, now, from your eyes.)  
> \- Hypnos will be (and is) always trans in my fics. Gods don't need hormone therapy to transition.  
> \- Meg, after dating Zagreus, goes on to be single for a while. She grows to have a bit of a crush on Dusa.  
> \- Hermes is attempting to court Charon. Whether that's flying over Charon's head or he's intentionally biding his time is yet to be seen.  
> \- My Hypnos is more based in the actual descriptions of Hypnos from Greek folklore; he's often described as being very kind and gentle.  
> \- The oneiros (dreams) are Hypnos's siblings and are typically shown as many, many women; I'll be portraying them as sheep because I think it's cute.  
> \- There are many versions of the story of Nyx and her children, but I'll be going with this list: Hemera, Moros, Apate, Dolos, Nemesis, the Keres, the Moirai (fates), the Hesperides, Oizys, Momos, the Oneiros, Hypnos, Thanatos, Philotes, Geras, Eris, and Charon. When they're mentioned beyond 'brothers and sisters', I'll leave notes about the ones mentioned! Also, she conceived them alone.


End file.
